TIS THE SEASON AND TIMES ARE TOUGH

Besides the news report I saw about having packages stolen off front porches, this is something I think is great to do. Thanks Bill Barvitski!

Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar rapist won't stick around... After a few seconds all the neig hbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there ..... This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

THIS IS A NEAT TEST

This is neat! See how you do...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/tmt/

CELL PHONES AND POPCORN

Pop Corn téléphone portable micro-ondes
Cargado por sassiere

HOW BIG ARE YOU?

ANTARES IS THE 15TH BRIGHTEST STAR IN THE SKY. IT IS MORE THAN 1000 LIGHT YEARS AWAY.

Sorta makes you feel small, huh?

AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ass, doing drugs, while I work. Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?I guess we could title that program, 'Urine or You're Out'.

I have to agree with this!

LOOK AT THIS PICTURE CAREFULLY...

Most of the time, I don't believe in hoaxes, fwds, chain letters, etc, but I'm having really good luck lately and I don't wanna mess it up, I'm posting this in place of forwarding it:

The President of Argentina received this picture and called it 'junk mail.'  Eight days later, his son died. A man received this picture and immediately sent out copies. His surprisewas winning the lottery. Alberto Martinez received this picture, gave it to his secretary to make copies but they forgot to distribute it. She lost her job and he lost his family.  

This picture is miraculous and sacred, don't forget to forward this within 13  
days to at least 20 people.  

Do Not Forget to forward and you will receive a huge surprise!!  

ROCKY POINT LUNCHTIME...

In this day and age, if you're cutting corners, but still want that Rocky Point fare, get creative with a seafood dinner for two!

**Picture courtesy of my half sister, Cheri in Texas**

NASTY VIRUS ON THE LOOSE!

http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/postcard.asp

Norton Anti-Virus is gearing up for this virus. Snopes (URL above) says it's for real!! (it's ranked #2 at Snopes as of 4/27/08 as a real virus threat) Get this E-mail message sent around to your contacts ASAP. You should be alert during the next few days. Do not open any message with an attachment entitled 'POSTCARD,' regardless of who sent it to you. It is a virus which opens A POSTCARD IMAGE, which 'burns' the whole hard disc C of your computer. This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list. This is the reason why you need to send this e-mail to all your contacts It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it. If you receive a mail called' POSTCARD,' even though sent to you by a friend, do no t ope n it!

Shut down your computer immediately. This is the worst virus announced by CNN. It has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept.

COPY THIS E-MAIL, AND SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS. REMEMBER: IF YOU SEND IT TO THEM, YOU WILL BENEFIT ALL OF US.

GOOD MORNING ROCKY POINT!

Dick Cheney and George W. Bush are having breakfastat the White House.The attractive waitress asks Cheney what he wouldlike and he replies, 'I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit.''

"And what can I get for you, Mr. President?"

George W looks up from his menu and replies with his trademark wink and slight grin, 'How about a quickie this morning?''

"Why, Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims, "how rude! You're starting to act like President Clinton," and the waitress storms away.

Cheney leans over to Bush and whispers.......... 'It's pronounced quiche.

GAS PRICES...

MORE ON GAS PRICES...

ANOTHER GREAT FWD FROM AMY!

Think the real estate market is bad? All these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are....You will be really shocked by the last one! (At least, I was...)

Compared with Gasoline......Think a gallon of gas is expensive? This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective:

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 ... $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 .........$9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ..... $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 . $10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 . $33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 . $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 .. $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ...... . $25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 .....$84.48 per gallon

And this is the REAL KICKER...Evian water 9 oz $1.49...$21.19 per gallon $21.19 for WATER and the buyers don't even know the source (Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)

Ever wonder why printers are so cheap? they have you hooked for the ink.
Someone calculated the cost of the ink at...............(you won't believe it....but it is true........)
$5,200 a gal. (five thousand two hundred dollars)

So, the next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!??

Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the pump...And - If you don't pass this along to at least one person, your muffler will fall off!!

24 THINGS TO DO FOR A BETTER YEAR!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, my purpose is to __________ today.
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals almost everything.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

IT IS FALSE!

HaHa...check this out:

There are no Starbucks, no restaurants, and it's the coldest place on the planet. Antarctica has no indigenous inhabitants aside from the penguins, and the population is around 4,000 (in the summer).

We're going to go back to work now...

FUNNY FORWARD...

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up, or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. First you forget names, then you forget faces Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

ANOTHER FORWARD (EN ESPANOL)

We haven't really started in our translation of this page to make it fully bilingual, but here is our first go:

"LAS GALLETITAS"

Una chica estaba aguardando su vuelo en una sala de espera de un aeropuerto. Como debía esperar un largo rato, decidió comprar un libro y también un paquete con galletitas. Se sentó en una sala del aeropuerto para poder descansar y leer en paz. Asiento de por medio, se ubicó un hombre que abrió una revista y empezó a leer. Entre ellos quedaron las galletitas. Cuando ella tomó la primera, el hombre también tomó una. Ella se sintió indignada, pero no dijo nada. Apenas pensó: ¡ Qué descarado; si yo estuviera más dispuesta, hasta le daría un golpe para que nunca más se le olvide !" Cada vez que ella tomaba una galletita, el hombre también tomaba una. Aquello la indignaba tanto que no conseguía concentrarse ni reaccionar. Cuando quedaba apenas una galletita, pensó: "¿ Qué hará ahora este abusador ?" Entonces, el hombre dividió la última galletita y dejó una mitad para ella. ¡Ah No !. . . Aquello le pareció demasiado ¡ Se puso a requintar de la rabia !. Cerró su libro y sus cosas y se dirigió al sector del embarque.

Cuando se sentó en el interior del avión, miró dentro del bolso y para su sorpresa, allí estaba su paquete de galletitas. . . intacto, cerradito. ¡ Sintió tanta vergüenza ! Sólo entonces percibió lo equivocada que estaba. ¡ Había olvidado que sus galletitas estaban guardadas dentro de su bolsa! El hombre había compartido las suyas sin sentirse indignado, nervioso, consternado o alterado. Y ya no había más tiempo ni posibilidades para explicar o pedir disculpas. Pero sí para razonar: ¿ Cuántas veces en nuestra vida sacamos conclusionescuando debiéramos observar mejor ? ¿ Cuántas cosas no son exactamente como pensamos acerca de las personas ?

Y recordó que existen cuatro cosas en la vida que no se recuperan:
1.- Una piedra, después de haber sido lanzada;
2.- Una palabra, después de haber sido proferida;
3.- Una oportunidad, después de haberla perdido;
4.- El tiempo, después de haber pasado. No lo envíes a nadie si no te parece bueno, pero si quieres compartir este pensamiento, ¡¡¡ Hazlo !!!


**If you don't read/speak spanish, it's worth putting this into Google Translator and getting the translation of it!** http://www.google.com/language_tools?hl=en

FUNNY FORWARD

In keeping with our promise to add some giggles to this thing, here's another forward we got from our friend in San Antonio:

***There are a few cuss words and innuendos in here - you've been warned***

What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."

Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex, too.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."

A FUNNY FORWARD

We kept saying we'd post forwards we got here to minimize sending a zillion...we forgot, but here's one we got from our brother in Hot-lanna (Atlanta):

9 WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying @*!% YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true.